When Do You Get Stuck At An Emotional Age Without Affection

A lack of love really leaves a mark and especially at certain ages. But sometimes it has a huge impact. You then get stuck in what is called an emotional age without affection  . In other words, a lack of affection and love prevents you from developing. You won’t be able to move on until you heal.

That’s really what the term “maturity” is all about: a concept. In practice, we all have many different ages within ourselves. Some ages stand out more. But the others are also there. So we’re really lucky. Because it helps us to enjoy things with a childlike pleasure. At the same time, we deal with problems with mature wisdom.

But there are also certain circumstances that cause you to get stuck at one specific age. If you don’t do something about the problem, you will usually get stuck at an emotional age with no affection.

It may even have its origins in your early childhood. If this is the case, then it may have an effect later on. Because even if you’re a lot older, you may still be at the same emotional age as the frightened hurt child you once were.

The first emotional age without affection

When you are young, almost every experience has a big impact on you. In this period of life you lay the foundation for who you are and who you will be. But that doesn’t mean you won’t still need affection later on. It just means that it is absolutely necessary in your early years of life.

When a child between the ages of one and two years is not given affection, the first thing they lose is their sense of trust. Children always expect their parents or those who care about them to take care of their needs.

But sometimes this doesn’t happen. Or it does happen but is accompanied by rejection and aggression. This will probably make it difficult for the child to trust people from then on. They may even have a hard time trusting themselves.

The lack of affection, autonomy and independence 

Around the age of two to three years, children usually start to take the road towards autonomy. Most of this consists of potty training.

At this age, loving parents or caregivers will encourage this autonomy with affection and without any haste. They will not ask the child for anything that is beyond their level of development and learning abilities.

In addition, they do not slow down their child’s progress. They won’t do things for the kids that the kids can do themselves. Love should never lead to dependence. Autonomy should also never lead to abandonment.

Most often, children between the ages of three to six continue to follow this path to independence. But with human beings, there are never exact ages or dates. Yet there is always the age when they really begin to explore the world.

When children really get love, they will embark on this journey without fear. If they don’t get love, they will probably feel uncomfortable and scared. This is true even if there is nothing frightening or dangerous in the outside world.

Once children are old enough to attend school, they develop a love of work and efficiency.  At least this will happen if they have a support system full of love. Without this system, they will perform their school duties with a sense of inferiority.

The Effects When We Grow Up 

When do you start to realize that you are stuck at an emotional age with no affection? Usually as an adult you see certain personality traits and you don’t really know where they come from. Moreover, you are usually also unable to change, even if you are convinced that it is necessary. We give some examples of these characteristics:

• Uncertainty, shyness, fear.
• Trouble empowering yourself, knowing what you want and expressing how you feel.
• Difficulty setting goals and pursuing them because you experience more fear than hope.
• Passivity in all areas of your life, including your love life.
• Not being able to enjoy things.

So what can you do? Usually it is possible to heal a wound due to a lack of affection. But it won’t heal on its own. You really have to work on it. It is a good idea to find ways to help a child without affection to express themselves openly. Give your inner child space to talk and say how he feels. You can write it down or talk about it with a therapist.