When Depression Hangs Like A Dark Cloud Over Your Head

Depression is a pain that grips us and becomes our shadow. Often it is accompanied by its good and dangerous friend: fear. This puts us in a fearful state of mind and clouds our emotions. We are troubled by harmful thoughts that undermine and humiliate our self-image, causing dents in our self-confidence.

Our mood is very much dependent on the things we say to ourselves and how we behave. That is, our thoughts, feelings and actions act as a kind of feedback for us. In a way, these factors determine our sense of well-being.

As we’ll see in this article, it’s rare for someone to be able to maintain a healthy frame of mind all the time. Anxiety and depression are not the only consequences harmful thoughts, feelings and behavior can have. Instead, there is a whole range of disorders and conditions that we can suffer from.

The bus metaphor

There is a metaphor that is often used in contextual therapy. This metaphor can help us grasp the importance of the personal love triangle between our thoughts, our feelings, and our behavior. Let’s take a look at this metaphor, paying close attention to the details:

Imagine you are a bus driver driving a bus full of people. These passengers are thoughts, feelings, memories and everything you’ve ever had and experienced in your life. The bus has only one door to get on and no door to get off at all. Some passengers are very unpleasant and look quite dangerous.

While you are driving the bus, some of the passengers start to threaten you. They start telling you what to do, where to go. ‘Now turn left, now drive faster’ etc. They even start to insult you and put you down. “You’re a bad driver, a failure, nobody loves you…” You feel terrible and do almost everything they ask of you, just to make sure they shut up. Just so they’ll sit in the back of the bus for a while and let you drive on.

One day, however, you get tired of all their threats and want to throw the passengers off the bus, but unfortunately this is not possible. So you decide to confront them. Without realizing it, you step on the brakes and leave your task of driving the bus for what it is. Now the bus is standing still and not going anywhere. Unfortunately, the passengers are also very strong. They resist and you can’t get them off the bus. So give up, go back to your seat and start driving again to where they tell you to go, to satisfy them.

To make sure the passengers won’t bother you anymore and you don’t have to feel bad about yourself, just start doing whatever they ask of you and drive the bus on their orders so you don’t have to. having to fight with them and not even look at them at all. You do exactly as they say, and a little faster each time, thinking about how nice it would be to work them out of your life. In no time, almost without realizing it, they don’t even have to tell you to turn left, you do it automatically yourself. You turn left so that the passengers don’t bother and threaten you.

Thus, at some point, you begin to justify your own actions. You almost convince yourself that the passengers aren’t even on the bus anymore. You try to tell yourself that the bus can only go in one direction. The power of these passengers is based on threats. “If you don’t do what we say, we’ll appear and force you to look at us. We’ll make you feel awful.” However, it remains with empty threats.

Indeed, it seems that these passengers, very negative thoughts and emotions, can cause enormous damage. Therefore, you choose to accept their course of action and do as they say. You only do this to be left alone, to make sure they sit in the back of the bus where you can’t see them.

However, in your attempt to control the passengers, you lost control of the bus! They don’t control the steering wheel and they can’t step on the clutch and brake. They also cannot determine where you park the bus. You are the driver. Do not allow your passengers to make these kinds of choices for you.

A few illustrations that show how difficult it is to deal with anxiety and depression

Millions of people around the world suffer from anxiety and depression. Nevertheless, we do not yet have as much understanding of these disorders as we should have. Often we come across a huge taboo about this subject and the people who suffer from it.

That’s why artist Nick Selcuk made an effort to show with a comic how difficult it really is to deal with these kinds of problems. This comic is about the dark reality that someone who suffers from depression and anxiety has to endure on a daily basis.

Let it be clear that it is not a piece of cake to deal with these kinds of problems. And it’s not a choice or a sign of weakness if it bothers you. Therefore, we should always consider the following aspects of anxiety and depression:

• Anxiety and depression do not define us as a person.
• Anxiety and depression should not be seen as shortcomings.
• Anxiety and depression must be understood based on the relationship we develop with these problems.

We should abandon the idea that people who suffer from anxiety or depression are weak and vulnerable. As well as the idea that these people themselves are to blame for their problems.

People who suffer from anxiety and depression have a need for affection and understanding. They need the opportunity to call in a professional so that they can properly address the emotional issues that are troubling them.