Treat Someone The Way You Want To Be Treated

Treating others as you would like to be treated yourself is a moral principle shared by many people and schools of thought. Philosophers, religious leaders and influential people promote this idea as a guideline for human relations.

Most everyone is familiar with the ‘golden rule’, just maybe not under this name. Given how universal this concept is, you might be surprised to learn that it’s not always the best approach when it comes to social interactions.

We all have times when someone on the receiving end of our actions completely misinterprets them. Or worse, our well-intentioned actions are actually detrimental to their interests.

It seems a bit unfair that one person’s genuine concern for another’s well-being can have a negative impact, but it happens all the time. The reason may be that you are basing your actions on the wrong perspective: your own perspective.

Is it okay to treat others the way you want to be treated?

“What you would not have done to you, do not do to others” is a well-known line from the Bible. And it seems like a good starting point. It implies good intentions and a greater awareness of how you behave with other people.

If you apply it, you will likely be more honest, understanding, understanding, and kind. This moral principle can motivate you to please a friend if you really don’t feel like it or think twice before criticizing someone.

Desires and expectations are not universal

If you go beyond the general concepts of kindness and understanding to a more practical and concrete plane, the golden rule doesn’t work very well. Imagine buying an expensive watch for your best friend for his birthday. When you give him the gift and see his disappointed expression, you may feel confused or even angry.

Perhaps your friend was hoping for an emotionally important personalized or handmade gift. Or perhaps he was expecting a dinner or other shared experience rather than a material gift.

This kind of disconnection can occur in any aspect of your life. For example, these misunderstandings are common between parents and their children. Perhaps you are a father watching his son go through a complicated or stressful situation.

You try to help him by putting his problem into context so that he sees that it isn’t as important as he thinks, or that the consequences won’t be as serious.

While you would respond well to this kind of support, your son may not feel the same. Maybe he thinks you’re just trying to make him forget about the situation so he doesn’t bother you with it anymore.

Another similar situation, let’s say you had an argument with your boyfriend and realized you were wrong, so you decide to call or visit him so the two of you can talk. But when you call, he’s angry, annoyed and doesn’t want to have a conversation with you.

What is going on here? You may see your call or visit as a sign of good faith. However, it was just too early for your partner. He needed some alone time at first to control his anger.

Be mindful of other people’s needs

We’re not trying to say it’s wrong to treat others the way you want to be treated. It’s a good starting point, but we want to make a caveat: you want people to keep your personality and your needs in mind, so that’s exactly what you should do for other people.

Think about what the other person likes, his or her preferences, needs and desires. Give them the gift of your ability that you can step into their shoes and see things from their perspective. Don’t focus so much on what you want. Instead, think about what they might want. It goes without saying that everyone is unique.

You may prefer other people to be completely direct and honest with you, but the person you are communicating with needs tact, understanding, and subtlety.

You may prefer to be alone after an argument. However, you know that your partner likes your company, presence, and dialogue. If you’re trying to follow the golden rule, in this case, stick with your partner after a conversation.

Treat others the way you want to be treated?

Human relationships are complex. It is not about balancing your desires and thoughts with those of those around you. Do you really want to know the best way to treat other people? Then take off your shoes and get into theirs. Finally, treat others the way they want to be treated.