If You Want To Make Everyone Happy, You’ll Never Find What You’re Looking For
Trying to please everyone comes at a high cost. One of the reasons you try to please everyone is because you’re afraid of being left alone, whether you’re surrounded by people or not. So how can you find what you’re looking for?
We’re talking about the fear of being lonely, even when you’re not alone. This is a loneliness that exists despite its cure: the company of others.
We know that relationships are important. We also know that they are great when they are high quality and intimate. Just think of the fact that most of us like to be surrounded by people with the same values. When you think about that, the worst that can happen is that we’re in a place out of fear, not desire.
Relationships Born Out of Fear
Many relationships are born out of fear. In reality, the best relationships come from an unconditional desire to be with someone. Maybe you are afraid of loneliness or boredom, or you always want company.
These things make us accept things we would otherwise reject. One of those things is that we try to please everyone.
Sometimes, even when you’re happy in your relationship, fears turn that desire into a necessity. The moment your assertiveness gives way to fear, a sense of obligation, or guilt, you become entangled in the relationship. That’s why you can’t enjoy it.
Think about it. How many times have you accepted invitations that you actually wanted to decline? How many times have you tolerated all the annoying behavior of others? Think of all the times you’ve tried to please everyone, even at the cost of your own happiness. Certainly very often. Definitely way too often.
If you’re behaving in this insecure way just to please others, you’re acting out of fear of being alone or being rejected. It is, even if it is harmful to you. Confidence and progress never come from fear, only from stagnation.
You are back where you started. Around you are people you would never have chosen otherwise and who do not enrich your life. That way you will never find what you are looking for.
Through assertiveness you will find what you are looking for
If you work on your assertiveness, you will improve the quality of your relationships and you will find what you are looking for. For example, you won’t want to spend time with people who won’t accept no. You can be sure that you are not wasting time with people who do not show you empathy.
If you set good boundaries, others will respond and think about their behavior. Your life will also improve because of this.
However, it is true that increasing your assertiveness will not make everyone happy. The positive aspect of this is that the selection that takes place when you are assertive will make your relationships stronger and longer lasting.
When you no longer feel the pressure to please everyone, you will feel free. That applies whether you are with or without people.
Knowing how to say no opens the door to plans you really like, relationships with people who are interested in what you think, and friends who trust you. Knowing how to say no will help you find what you’re looking for and boost your confidence.
You will make many mistakes, but you will also learn from them. It means that you become independent and can manage your own time, without being hindered by unimportant relationships.
Saying no is always a risk. You may see a disgruntled face, but in the end it will strengthen your relationships.
