I Want To Overcome The Past But Don’t Know How

It is said that the past is continuously ‘in the making’. This means that our past always lives on within us in some sense. It is inevitable.  However, in order not to get stuck in our own negative, fathomless depths, we must overcome the past.

A poem by Miguel Hernandéz contains the following sentence:  “Everything goes and everything remains, but we must go on.” That’s exactly what we want to say. It is impossible to escape our past or our negative experiences. Therefore, overcoming the past is basically equivalent to moving on with your life.

There is only one way to overcome the past, and that is by confronting it and studying it.  We need to find out how it shaped us and learn from it. If we don’t analyze our past and instead just hide it, it will always try to pull us back.

Our past is immutable

One factor that keeps us from overcoming the past is the difficulty we have in accepting what has happened. It cannot be reversed. That may sound very logical, but people can be very irrational at times. Even though complaining about all the negative events in our lives isn’t exactly helpful, sometimes we do it anyway.

This happens when we have not yet sufficiently processed the negative event. That’s why it haunts us. It is possible that we also experience a certain amount of guilt. For example, we may also struggle with forgiving someone who has wronged us. In addition to the inability to forgive others , this can also apply to ourselves. Consciously or unconsciously, we then punish ourselves for something we have done that makes us feel bad.

Thinking back to the past leads us to the next question: is it possible to rectify something that has already happened? The answer is that if it’s something that’s still going on in the present, you should act on it. Instead of just feeling sorry, you can also do what needs to be done to correct the situation. If, on the other hand, it is impossible to rectify the situation now, it is probably time to grieve, learn and move on with your life.

Overcoming the past is done by accepting and letting go

When we can’t overcome the past, we often get stuck in our own fantasy. We are constantly thinking things like “what if this or that happened?” In this way, however, we only keep ourselves small. We fantasize about possible outcomes and we long for a life we ​​don’t have. No matter how much we fantasize about this, it won’t change reality. This leaves us only annoyance and renewed frustration.

Accepting the past means admitting that things will never be the way they were. Even if we undo the damage and its consequences, it will never be the same again. None of our actions will bring us back to a day we have already lost.

Overcoming, accepting and letting go of the past takes courage. Overcoming the past is not a passive process. You have to work hard and passionate for this. While it is important to a certain extent not to forget the past, there comes a time when we just have to put things behind us.

Learn to live in the present

Sometimes it’s hard to say, “I live in the present and only look forward,” and actually do it. After all, we have to do more than just say it. We need to be proactive and create an environment that anchors us in the present. We need circumstances that keep us in the here and now; circumstances that require our attention. Sometimes it is necessary to rebuild our present to overcome our past.

To find ourselves in the present, we need to cut off our ties to the past  (or at least as many of them as possible) . It is said that the best way to get out of a situation is not to look back. That’s exactly why it’s important that we get rid of anything that tempts us to look back. We must look ahead and face our present and our future. This gives us more freedom and allows us to think about our past without frustration or regret.

That is why it is important that we start filling our lives with new things. New friends, new hobbies and new interests. This is the perfect time to renew ourselves and change our lives. We may not be so excited at first. Something within ourselves may be trying to occupy us with what we are already familiar with. Let’s resist that urge and let life surprise us. However, if you still find yourself having trouble pulling yourself out of the past, it might be a good idea to seek professional help.