How To Free Yourself From A Toxic Relationship
Toxic relationship between two partners. These kinds of relationships happen every day, all over the world, regardless of the country the two people come from, their education, or their age. Almost without realizing it, we end up in a relationship where our rights as humans are being violated almost continuously. The right to choose to be ourselves, to live with integrity and joy. Why is this even happening? The truth is that when it comes to love, no one has a manual that can give them the perfect instructions and answers to every question.Falling in love involves letting yourself be carried away by a range of emotions that are so intense that in some cases it is very difficult to maintain your balance and perspective.
It is also common for a person to expose themselves to multiple toxic relationships throughout their lifetime. Does this mean that some people simply have the profile of a ‘victim’? From a person who can be easily manipulated?
Unfortunately, we cannot confirm this theory. Not even at all. Nor can we say that the toxic person almost always has the male role and the victim always has the female role. The manipulator, the person who enforces, punishes and mistreats, can fall into the male category as well as the female category. It is important to keep this in mind, despite the fact that women are undoubtedly more likely to be victims of abuse in these types of situations.
It is therefore important to know what measures you need to take to be able to free yourself from a toxic relationship and move on with your life. Both for your overall sense of well-being and for your emotional health.
Why We Don’t Know When Our Relationship Is Toxic
Maybe you know someone who you think is stuck in a toxic relationship. You may be very aware of this fact, but this person himself is not; he doesn’t see what you see. And no matter how hard you try to make this person see that their relationship is far from normal, this person will refuse to confirm this fact.
Why is this happening? In general, these types of situations are caused by the following aspects:
- We believe that our partner can change, that what we are experiencing right now is only temporary and that our partner’s behavior will change sooner or later because he loves us. That is, we have formed an idealized image of our partner that does not correspond to reality at all.
- The person being manipulated often has very little self-confidence. This person may have been strong-willed and confident at first, but this relationship has gradually left him vulnerable and deeply hurt, leading him to think that this is the way he should be going through life.
- We are often the victims of blackmail. Maybe your partner humiliated you and made you cry the day before, but the next day he asks you in tears if you can please forgive him and you just can’t say ‘no’ to this…
- Fear of loneliness, abandonment or rejection. Sometimes we think it’s better to be in a toxic relationship and feel bad all the time than to be alone. This is very common, as surprising as it may sound.
- Fear of what will happen if you leave this person. Often a person is afraid of how his toxic partner will react and there may even be a chance that his partner will become violent.
Strategies to End a Toxic Relationship
- Be aware. No one can overcome a problem if he is not first able to recognize that there is a certain ‘wall’ in his life. We must be able to see that this wall exists, since our love is the main reason why we are blind to it. Sometimes love can be so blind and unconditional that it’s hard to accept that the person we love so much is actually robbing us of our rights and integrity.
- Say ‘no’ to fear. Fear is the greatest obstacle we must overcome. If you don’t think you’re strong enough to do this alone, ask for help. Whether this is the help of a friend, colleague, family member, social service or professional counselor. We understand that each couple is their own mini-universe. Maybe your partner isn’t violent at all, but you still fear the idea of being left alone. However, try to see that loneliness is still much better than these kinds of toxic relationships.
- Put all your energy into yourself. You’ve spent way too much time taking care of someone else. You’ve set yourself up like a small satellite orbiting a planet that contributed nothing at all. It is therefore time to move on, discover your own horizons and develop new illusions and dreams that are all yours. This is something we all deserve.
It is possible to free yourself from a toxic relationship, but it takes courage and sufficient self-confidence. However, we are all capable of achieving this – the opportunity is within our grasp and it is up to us to decide whether we will seize this opportunity and open the door that reveals the way to a renewed form of happiness.
–Image courtesy of Viaska, John Cotmann–
