Heroes Give Up Sometimes Too
Heroes are all around us. Our heroes are the people who have fought tirelessly against cancer or any other long-term, debilitating or fatal disease. The people who, with their sense of humor and their courage, have never lost their smile to the world, regardless of their setbacks.
Our heroes have taught us that it is worth fighting for. They have taught us that the world can change color depending on the glass through which we view it, that our true friends are always there for us, and that the things that are worthwhile always take a little more effort.
They also taught us, at least for me, that it’s better to stop some fights when the end is in sight. They taught me that being honest with yourself and showing your feelings doesn’t mean you’re a coward. Most importantly, they have taught me that giving up is often not well received, even if in some cases it is the most natural thing to do.
The pain of wanting to leave
When my hero found out he was sick, he could hardly believe it, he was in complete shock. Denial was the first stage of his grieving process. The news was overwhelming and hard to digest. At this stage, he chose to protect himself from the pain, at least a little.
When he had to undergo medical examinations, he began to better understand his condition. He felt like a guinea pig with no control over anything. All he felt was pain. This pain and lack of control led him to the second stage: anger. At this stage he became completely unapproachable, difficult and stubborn. For a time it seemed like he was blaming everyone around him for his pain. However, I knew that this was just the way for him to handle his situation.
The third phase, also called negotiation, passed quite quickly as his condition deteriorated rapidly. Sometimes he had a good day, but he didn’t know how long these moments would last or if this day would actually be his last good day. He tried to overcome his illness, but nothing changed.
Then depression reared its ugly head, because ‘when I die’ changed to ‘when I die’ . However, he did not let the head of depression scare him, because for the first time he no longer started thinking about himself, but about the people around him, the people he would leave behind.
So then came acceptance, the final stage, the inevitable stage. You accept death as just another part of life, because everything has an end. The problem is that the people who love you can’t accept this at all because they don’t want to put what you want first.
My hero told us that he wouldn’t fight anymore, that he wanted to say goodbye to everyone, because he didn’t want us to see him deteriorate, because fighting was no use at all. His fate was already written and he had decided to wait for death, and demanded respect for this. He told us that it hurts a lot to say goodbye to the people you leave behind, but that it hurts even more to live, and that the physical pain of life makes death a little less scary.
The selfishness of not letting go
It is said that growth means learning to say goodbye. Which means I’m a whimsical, scared, little girl, who clings to you with all her strength. I don’t want to say goodbye to you too soon. I want to be with you during your last days, I want you to fight with all your strength to scrape together a few more hours of life.
At the same time, however, I also know that the pain you feel is unbearable, and that it is selfish of me to keep you from moving on, to get mad at you for choosing to give up, as if that were something bad. is. I behave this way because losing you is the most painful thing I will ever endure, but you taught me that it is possible to live with pain.
Do not worry, because today I have decided to enter the phase of acceptance as well. I have accepted that you have to leave and that I will therefore lose you. And don’t worry, maybe I’ll say that after you leave my life will be completely over because you are my whole life, but this is not true. I’m just selfish and I don’t want to live in a world without you. Yet I will not lose myself in my sorrow. I will never forget you and I will live a happy life in tribute to you and what was not granted to you.
You will always be my heroes
To all of you who have chosen to give up, I want to remind you that heroes don’t always wear capes or have superpowers. Sometimes they carry a backpack full of great stories, dreams, friends and relatives that they have to leave behind but will never forget.
The only way to live meaningfully is to accept your own pain. Accept that not all stories have a happy ending after a long journey. Instead, some stories end in the middle. And while the story isn’t completely over and it doesn’t have a happy ending, it’s still a story that leaves its mark.
In Hollywood, it’s a pretty cliché to depict people who fight to the bitter end, whose courage never wavers, but this isn’t what we often see in real life. Heroes also give up, but this does not mean that they are less heroic.
