Dealing With Loss: A Letter As A Final Goodbye

We believe that we are immortal and that illnesses, accidents and all that sort of thing only happen to others but not us and of course this is not how things really are. Eventually we will all grow old, get sick in some way and die when all is said and done.

We used to have a much more tolerant mentality when it came to death. We were able to deal with the goodbyes and grieving in a much healthier way than we do today. This doesn’t mean it was a pleasant experience, but it does mean it was part of life. Let’s say that death was generally accepted as the price to be paid for the happiness we had in knowing this world.

What determines whether mourning is healthy or not?

Grieving is a necessary process to get over a loss. We are not just talking about losing people here, but also about other losses, such as losing a job, health or a partner. In this regard, sadness, as a healthy emotion, should play the leading role; it helps us to process what has happened, to treat that wound on our souls, so that when enough time has passed, usually between six months and a year, we can return to our lives as normal.

Sometimes we go through the grieving process in a way that is not suitable for us and we get stuck in one of the phases. It is worth mentioning that the process has different stages (denial, anger, guilt, acceptance…). Whether we go through all of these or just a few is different for each individual.

Whether we grieve in a healthy or unhealthy way will depend on what we tell ourselves about death or about the loss that has occurred, about everything. But it will also depend on how we confront our new life and how we act without what is now no longer there.

To write a letter

There are many therapeutic techniques based on our emotions as well as our thoughts and behaviors that we can use to improve and manage the grieving process. One such technique is writing a suicide note. It can be addressed to someone who has passed away, to a job we have lost, a partner, our own health or something else that we personally experience as a significant loss.

Writing a letter is an explanatory technique that aims to reduce the intensity of our emotions little by little so that we will eventually feel healthy nostalgia and not unhealthy depression, anger, fear or guilt.

This is extremely important because there are emotions, such as sadness, that are our allies and help us understand what is happening so that we use our resources and work towards the best possible solution.

But there are also emotions that hold us back, block us and prevent us from processing the situation. Far from resolving the situation or putting what has happened in perspective, they cause an overly intense discomfort that does not allow us to think normally or act clearly and in our own favor.