Can You Learn To Love? Follow These Five Steps!

The greatest sense of happiness in life is to love and be loved. Those are the words of the author and playwright Amandine, known by her pseudonym George Sand. In this article we ask ourselves: can you learn to love?

We connect with others not only for who they are, but also for what they blossom with us. In order for loving to be accompanied by happiness, you need to know how to do it in a good and authentic way.

In our language the word love is used quite a lot. We associate it with some of the most important feelings we can experience as human beings: deep affection, attachment and commitment to another person.

There are as many ways to understand love as there are people in the world. But whether or not we understand, do we really know how to love? Everything seems to indicate that we all struggle with love. And even if we don’t want to believe this, there is still room to get better and keep growing.

Do you know how to love others?

Almost everyone thinks they know how to love others. We think it is enough to have feelings for someone. But we forget that true love is like tending a garden. You have to water it every day, weed and take care of it so that the flowers continue to grow.

Everyone is prone to the temptation to lead a comfortable life. But love is one way to resist that temptation. Because love is about discussing the big things, setting healthy boundaries, and nurturing a shared sense of well-being.

Is love an art? People who believe this know that love requires knowledge and effort. Or is it just a pleasant feeling that you happen to experience, something that you stumble upon if you are lucky?

Erich Fromm’s book,  The Art of Loving,  states that love is actually an art. However, most people think it’s a coincidence.

That’s not to say that these people don’t think it’s important. In fact, we all crave love. Don’t we all watch countless movies that tell us happy and unhappy love stories? We are constantly listening to songs about love. But hardly anyone thinks you can learn to love.

How can you learn to love?

People think that things are only worth learning if they can provide a tangible benefit, such as money or status.

But what about the things that are good for the soul? Is it possible to learn to love? Can you teach yourself something that you feel but cannot touch?

In our modern society, most people stop reading after seeing the title of this article. But they don’t realize that love is the answer to life.

Any theory of love must begin with a theory of man, of human existence. Love is an act. So it is something that lasts rather than something that happens sporadically. You have to learn to love if you want to develop yourself and build healthy relationships.

According to The art of Loving, how can we  love?

To go beyond the initial stages in love, here are five basic pieces of advice. We take them from the book  The Art of Loving:

• Be original. We live in the illusion that the world is completely uniform. So we adapt because we think that’s the only way to have relationships. But we have the power to invest in our own relationships. This type of relationship arises from sincerity and authenticity. Only then can we free ourselves from the conditioning and habits that society imposes on us.
• Find someone who will give you everything and do the same for him. Because to love is to give. It is full of vitality, strength and power. Moreover, it fills us with happiness. But this will only happen as long as we maintain our dignity and respect and do not exceed our limits. If you choose someone with whom you want to share that perspective, you will succeed in giving each other the best of yourself.

• Longing to get to know your partner. Fromm would say we think we know each other. But we don’t, or at least not completely. Every experience affects us in some way. Change is the only constant here. If you keep the flame alive and commit to learning more about your partner, you won’t fall into a rut.
• Know what kind of love you want to give and receive. Because there are many types. Knowing what kind of love you want to give and receive will determine what type of relationship you have. So nothing compares to mature and conscious love. That should be your end goal: two people who become one but remain themselves.
• Accept the challenges and conflicts that come with the relationship. For love is not the absence of conflict. It is an ongoing challenge that you work on together and in which you grow together.

love more

There is only one remedy for love: to love more. When you are grieving after a breakup, look at life with a new perspective. Do this instead of getting discouraged and hiding.

Love is an art. It is a process that benefits from creativity, care and authenticity. But to achieve this, you must be willing to give with respect and responsibility. Loving more is the cure for all problems in life.