Raising Confident And Independent Children: Seven Tips

Raising confident and independent children is not an easy task. We need to know when to intervene and when to give space. The space they need to acquire life skills. The skills that stay with them after facing challenges and difficulties. Moreover, this aspect of parenting requires a great deal of patience, a lot of affection, and a wisdom that allows us to sense their needs.

An interesting book on education was published a few weeks ago entitled Raising Independent, Self-Confident Kids . In this book, two child psychiatrists, Wendy Moss and Donald Moses, reflect on a parenting model that many mothers and fathers currently use.

Raising independent children

We have reached a point where it has become a priority to solve for them every problem our children encounter. Sometimes we even try to anticipate those problems. All this to ensure that our children can live an easier, calmer and more rewarding life. In this way we surround them with an almost magical tranquility. And besides, it also gives us pleasure because we know that everything is fine.

All this is undoubtedly understandable and in most cases even to be expected. However, some parents take this to the extreme. By leveling our children’s roads every day and under all circumstances, we deprive them of a much-needed skill. The ability to act for oneself. This ability is also formally referred to as executive functioning.

Child psychiatrists Wendy Moss and Donald Moses define executive functioning as a set of skills in which a person learns to be responsible for their world, to organize and manage their own things, to learn from their mistakes and to develop a sense of self-efficacy. Let’s take a look at some strategies we can use to raise confident and independent children.

1. Know when to intervene and when to guide from a distance

Raising a child is like a dance. At certain times you have to hug and hold them, and then, shortly after, you have to let them go. We must understand that even when one dance partner has been given the freedom to perform his own steps and movements, the other part is still there, to observe and lead from a distance.

Knowing when to act and when to step back is far from easy. It requires first of all that you are able to apply some of the basic rules of coexistence. We are talking about a framework in which each member of the house has their own responsibilities. If everyone properly accepts and performs these responsibilities, certain household rights can be obtained. In this way, this kind of family arrangement helps a child to grow up in a safe and happy environment. As a result, they will know what is expected of them at all times.

2. Have and offer confidence

To raise independent children, we must give them confidence. Have faith in us as parents or educators and have faith in yourself. In this way, the child will grow up in an environment where it is constantly nurtured and where affection and attention are always present. There are no fears or barriers when the child has to communicate their problems and needs. In addition, the child will be more confident in being able to do almost anything for himself.

3. Show your kids how to make healthy choices

What do we mean by healthy choices? Healthy or fulfilling choices are choices that enable a child to learn. They open the way for a child to accept responsibility for his actions. The child will understand that his actions have consequences. He will realize that his bad behavior is affecting himself and those around him. However , we also need to show our children that it is good to ask for advice. They also need to know that they have the freedom to accept that advice or follow their own instincts.

Another factor to consider in raising independent children is that each child has their own personality, preferences, and passions. As adults, we cannot mediate in all of our children’s decisions and choices. However, we can guide and advise them.

4. Teach your kids to take responsibility for small and big tasks

Making a child responsible requires three things: time, patience and affection. When raising our children, we often make the mistake of wanting our children to acquire a large number of skills far too quickly. Another thing to be aware of is that we are often quite incompetent when it comes to dealing with everyday challenges that crop up when we least expect it.

One way to help children acquire these skills is to understand that children can take on responsibilities from a very early age. For example, at the age of 3 they can already learn how to clean up their toys themselves. They can even help us with small household chores such as setting and clearing the table, watering the plants, taking care of pets, etc.

Applying rules, tasks and responsibilities is essential. This allows them to grow up knowing that they are capable of much more than they thought possible. They will learn that taking responsibility equals growing up. They will also see that successfully performing these tasks strengthens their self-esteem.

5. Teach your kids to deal with frustration

An essential strategy for raising responsible and independent children is to help them develop patience and the ability to deal with the small everyday problems. We need to let our children experience frustration and deal with it. In this way, they become confident adolescents and adults. That’s why you should never doubt the power of the word ‘no’ when you need to. Saying ‘no’ at the right time and in the right circumstances will yield wonderful benefits in the long run.

6. Help Your Kids Develop Self-Control

Teach your kids to look at themselves from the inside out. Help them understand their emotions. This allows them to manage day-to-day problems and challenges much better. To achieve this, there is nothing better than giving them an upbringing that relies on the resources of emotional intelligence.

7. Why It’s Important to Help Your Kids Develop Social Competence

Developing the right social skills in children will help them build more fulfilling relationships. Moreover, it will also give them a more positive self-image and develop a healthy and enriching social competence. Something as basic as establishing true empathy and assertiveness will help them form more positive connections in their environment. They will be able to deal with or prevent bullying. In addition, they will be able to survive in a healthier way during their social and emotional journey.

During this “adventure” of raising independent children, who are confident and above all happy, we must not neglect one fundamental aspect: ourselves. It is the mother, the father, the grandparents and other relatives who are all part of this child’s life. We must lead by example. We are the ones who can nurture or harm. We are the ones who can give wings to fly, or build a cage of indecision, dependence and frustration. Let’s remember that words leave their mark, nurture affection, and examples mark the way forward.