I Have No Regrets, But Certain Things I Will Never Do Again
We are all fallible, imperfect, yet unique in our essence and our personal stories. Therefore, it is good and necessary to accept every mistake and not to regret the things you have done.
At the same time, you need to know clearly that there are certain things you wouldn’t do anymore. Which paths you will never take again and which people you want to keep at a healthy distance.
Woody Allen once said in one of his movies, “The only thing I regret in my life is that I’m not someone else.” This ironic sentence sums up this fact very well: our mistakes hurt and often cause such a massive drain on our dignity that we’re eager to hit our reset button.
However, humans are not machines. In fact, that’s where our greatness lies, in the magic written into our DNA that urges us to learn from our mistakes. It improves us as a species and that’s how we survive in this complex world.
After all, life is moving forward, but also changing and knowing how to deal with every bad choice or action.
Our regret is our baggage
Guilt and remorse come in many shapes and sizes. A relationship with the wrong person, a bad decision at work, a broken promise, a wrong word or act… Often this means looking at ourselves in the mirror, without a filter, without anesthetic. It’s like an open wound.
That’s when we become aware of the cracks in our supposed maturity. Cracks we must mend after collecting the broken pieces of our dignity.
Also, an interesting study published in the journal Cognitive Psychology , data that makes us think. Young people often complain about all the mistakes they have made in their lives.
Sometimes all it takes is an interview with someone between the ages of 20 and 45 and they will detail each bad decision one by one. In fact, it is an assessment and self-analysis that can be healthy and cathartic. It helps us make better choices and get our lives back on track.
However, the real problem lies with the elderly. When we turn 70, we begin to regret the things we didn’t do… Missed opportunities, decisions we didn’t make because of a lack of courage.
So, something that we need to be very clear about is that the worst regret is that of a life not being lived. Let us see our so-called mistakes, the mistakes without serious consequences, as our baggage of experience. The cracks through which the light of wisdom shines are our heritage.
Errors will always knock on our door somehow
Above all, mistakes imply acceptance of responsibility. We all know that, but not all people are able to take that valuable step.
Then something has to happen that we call “primary repair” in psychology. That is, doing something as fundamental as leaving that stormy relationship behind, ending a failed project, or even asking forgiveness for hurting others.
Next, we need to do something much more delicate, intimate, and complicated. It’s time for the ‘secondary repair’. In doing so, we must sew together every fragment of our self-esteem, every fiber that has been torn from our self-image, with meticulous craftsmanship.
There is no point in holding grudges or holding onto adversity, for you are closing the door of your heart and also the window to new possibilities.
Don’t regret your mistakes
On the other hand, an article in the journal Personality and Social Psychology reminds us of a situation that many of us recognize. Sometimes we punish ourselves with a recurring, ‘ But how could I have been so naive? Still making these mistakes at my age?’
The belief that age and experience ultimately make us immune to mistakes is a myth. Let’s put those ideas aside and accept this: life is accepting changes and challenges. It allows us to meet new people and do new things every day.
Making mistakes is part of the process and part of growth. Refusing to experiment and anchor ourselves ad eternum to the island of repentance, fear and the ‘ it’s better to remain as I am’ means you breathe and exist but not LIVE.
