5 Ways To Deal With Hurt Feelings

No one teaches you how to deal with what hurts you directly. You may have always heard, “Don’t cry,” “Time heals all,” “It will pass”… but none of these phrases helped you. Plus, they made you feel worse. That’s why we decided to propose 5 ways in this article to deal with hurt feelings.

Ignoring your hurt feelings is not an option. This feeling needs a direct confrontation, even if it hurts. You have to face it so that it doesn’t continue to hurt for years.

1. Learn how to let go of hurt feelings

For this you only need a pencil or a small object that will not break. Hold it in your hand and squeeze it hard, as hard as you can. Now imagine that object is your emotions or your thoughts, or is that person who hurt you.

At first, squeezing that object will be uncomfortable. But then it will eventually hurt your hand. When this happens, let go and let that object, which you have visualized as all that hurt you, fall to the floor. Notice how you were able to let go. The same thing happens with all those feelings or people who have hurt you. You can let them go.

When we hold onto certain situations, we believe that they are already part of us, even if they hurt us, and we don’t realize that we are the ones who choose to suffer. However, you can let it go at any time.

2. Think about how you talk to yourself

The second way to deal with hurt feelings will help you understand how you talk to yourself. You may believe that you are doing it in a positive way, but you will be surprised to find that you are using more negative phrases and thoughts than you ever imagined. To understand this better, we will give you an example.

Imagine you are at the gym and someone starts a conversation with you. When you said goodbye, the other person replied “I enjoyed talking to you” and it took a while for you to respond. You get a little nervous and answer “Me too” a little timidly. On your way to the lockers you can’t stop thinking about how stupid you were and how ridiculous you are when you talk to other people.

Being aware of these situations is the most important. Is it positive when you stand in front of the mirror and say to yourself “What were you thinking?” You will realize how much you let your self confidence drop again and again without being aware of it.

3. Anchor yourself to the present

Another way to deal with hurt feelings is to anchor yourself to the present. You’ve probably heard of the technique of mindfulness. It can help you to dwell on the present and the past and forget about the future for a while, because that is where you experience pain.

Pick something you want to experience for a week. For example, on Monday, how you breathe; on Tuesday, how your feet step on the floor; on Wednesday, how water flows on your skin when you wash your hands, do the dishes or take a shower… Do the same for the rest of the week. This will help you appreciate the little things you do and allow you to let go of the things that hurt you.

Holding on to what hurts us prevents us from enjoying the little things we do because it’s all about that pain that we can let go at any moment.

4. Put yourself in the worst situation

The fourth way of dealing with hurt feelings allows you to take drama away from the situation in which you are suffering. Often emotions cloud your perception in such a way that it seems like everything is terrible. Therefore, you should try to put yourself in the worst situation.

Imagine that you and your partner are breaking up. You’ve been holding on to a relationship that hurts you and it’s hard for you to end it. Sometimes the decision you have to make is clear to you, but fear dominates you and prevents you from taking action. Although it is difficult, you are putting yourself in the worst situation.

What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe being alone, being different from the rest of your friends because you don’t have a partner… We recommend writing down all these difficult situations, but don’t be too dramatic. Thus, you will realize that many of the things you mention are not so bad.

For each answer, try to give reasons why you would be hurt. In some cases you will see that you do not get a normal answer. In other cases, you will be aware that while it is true that a situation hurts, you suffer because you hold on to it.

5. An essential question

Holding on to what causes you pain will make you suffer. Therefore, all the ways to deal with hurt feelings that we have discussed can give you a better understanding of everything that is happening to you. This will help you to make a better decision.

Finally, the last way consists of only one essential question. What would you say to someone who is going through the same thing as you? Put yourself in the situation where it is your brother or a friend who lives in the same situation as you. The answer to the question you have asked yourself will be applied to you. This question can help you open your eyes.

We tend to cling to the pain that turns it into suffering. The irony is that we can let it go when we want to, but to achieve this we need to be aware of what we are doing. How many times have you held on to what hurt you? How did you overcome that?