Keys To Recognizing Manipulative Parents

Has your relationship with your parents always been tense and unsatisfactory and do you suspect that they are manipulative? Do you often feel guilty with them? Are you confused by their actions, words and attitudes and do they still affect you? If so, you may be part of an unfortunate group of people dealing with manipulative parents.

Everyone can emotionally blackmail or lose their temper with someone at some point. However, manipulative parents employ an extensive variety of strategies. These intend to exert control over their children and as a result undermine their self-esteem. It’s a constant thing that goes on and on.

Dealing with manipulative people is always harmful and unpleasant. However, the damage is much deeper and the after-effects are longer in those who grew up with such parents. This is because they are the main reference figures and the main shapers of one’s personality.

While it’s never too late to get rid of it, you must first be able to recognize the signs of parental manipulation.

Keys to Recognizing Manipulative Parents

The mood of manipulative parents dominates the situation

Every family gathering revolves around this parent’s mood. They are open, welcoming and friendly when they are happy, but the environment becomes tense and uncomfortable when their emotions are negative. In addition, their emotions are unpredictable and poorly controlled. For the same reason, others are subservient to the conditions they set at any given time.

They don’t celebrate their children’s success and joy

It’s hard to imagine a parent who isn’t happy when their kids are thriving. Manipulative parents, however, are often jealous, resentful, critical, and even cynical. They turn any positive news into a source of guilt or shame.

A holiday, a promotion or even the birth of a child is no longer joyful and becomes tinged with negativity after it passes through the filter of the manipulator.

They try to take the children from the people who love them

You would expect a parent to be happy if their children have broad and healthy social relationships while interacting with others who love them.

However, a manipulative parent tends to criticize their children’s friendships, belittle the value of their bonds, and emphasize every negative aspect. This is just another way to try and control.

They use affection as a means of manipulation

“ If you loved me, you would visit me every day .” “ I don’t know how you can say this to me after all I do for you. Affection is a manipulation tool for these types of parents, and not just when it comes to guilt.

For example, manipulative parents use flattery and gifts as a way to be on the good side of their children, even if they otherwise harm them with all kinds of negative attitudes.

Other Keys to Recognize Manipulative Parents

The above symptoms are the most common. However, many others reveal a parent who is toxic and manipulative. Here are a few examples:

• They adopt a victim attitude instead of taking on their mistakes and responsibilities

• They do not communicate clearly, hide their true motives and distort reality in their favor. For example, a mother insists and uses guilt to let her children go somewhere with her. Then she can say outright that they are there because they chose to.
• Their approaches and actions are disjointed. For example, the manipulative parent may judge their children for never visiting their grandchildren. However, they treat them badly or completely ignore them when they come.

How to deal with manipulative parents?

The first step, and often the most complicated, is recognizing and accepting that your parents may be manipulative.

This is because there is a deep-seated social belief that a parent always wants the best for their children. As a result, poorly treated children believe that they are to blame for their difficult relationship with their parents. In addition, manipulators show different faces depending on the day and context, which can be very confusing.

However, it is easier to identify and deal with the manipulative context you grew up in once you recognize it. Setting boundaries is therefore essential in order not to endure these attitudes. Finally, you may want to consult a professional who can work with you during the emotional aftermath.