The Cycle Of Negative Interactions In Your Relationship

Today we will tell you how to break the cycle of negative interactions in your relationship. If you share an emotional connection with someone, you will always have good and bad elements.

In romantic relationships, that dynamic is often more intense because of the amount of time you spend with your partner and the intimacy you share. It may seem that the state of your relationship is at the mercy of fate. However, it almost entirely depends on your actions and those of your partner.

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t stop arguing with your partner no matter how hard you tried? You start the day with the best of intentions, but one misinterpreted gesture or word and you’re arguing again in an instant.

In those moments, you may feel that your relationship is not meant for you. However, keep reading before making any hasty decisions. Understanding how communication between people develops can give you some clues on how to break the cycle.

The Origin of Negative Interactions

When you live with someone or spend most of your time with someone, that person is there when you are at your best but also when you are at your worst. He or she is the one who witnesses your stress, your physical and mental fatigue, your anger and your bad mood.

Relationships work best when they are in balance. However, there are days when one of you gives 80% and the other only 20%. Other days it will be the other way around.

So, if your partner answers your question in a way that you find rude or if he or she makes a passive-aggressive comment, it’s important to be assertive. In an ideal world, you would respectfully communicate with each other and explain how they made you feel.

Unfortunately, it is not always easy (or possible) to trade this way. Therefore, your automatic response is often to get offended and resort to indifference, contempt, and ignoring the other. You can also overreact with something equally hurtful.

If this happens occasionally, then you don’t have to worry too much. It is practically unavoidable. However, if this pattern repeats itself and becomes the norm, then you have a problem.

Communication patterns tend to repeat themselves often

Communication between two people is essentially a constant loop of feedback. When you communicate with someone else, you do not do so from a neutral place.

Whatever you say is in many ways a response to what you’ve seen, heard, or felt about that person before. The course of the interaction you have had with someone makes you prone to react positively or negatively.

The same goes for your partner, of course. Some couples hardly ever argue and others are in a constant state of conflict. This happens because certain communication patterns have taken root. Once they’re there, it’s hard to change them.

Suppose your partner says something that is bothering you. You then respond with an angry remark or irritated silence. The other person then feels hurt, so he also reacts inappropriately. Neither is willing to give in and you both think it’s the other’s fault.

We clearly remember the comments and actions that make us feel bad. However, it is more difficult to realize how your behavior contributes to these negative dynamics with your partner.

How do you break the cycle of negative interactions with your partner?

This communication problem can be difficult to solve because both partners blame the other and no one wants to take responsibility for taking the first step.

When you are aware that both of you are fueling these unhealthy dynamics, you will realize that it is possible to create something better. The key is simply to stop responding to the other person. Instead, decide what kind of gestures, words, or interactions you want to communicate with.

So take the first step to create new communication patterns. Once you get into the habit of negative interactions with your partner, you tend to keep repeating them.

The good news is that positive interactions work the same way. So if you change your input, your communication changes. When you get to that point, it doesn’t matter who is to blame or who did what, because both partners have a part in it.

You don’t have to argue about who started it, but you can talk about who ended it. You can be that person. Remember the power is in your hands.

Over time, you’ll get better at recognizing these patterns when they start. That makes it easier to see how the negative interactions are snowballing. That way you can stop them in time. In short, it is important to know what your partner contributes and what your own role is.