The Smart Way To Deal With Anger
Anger and irritation are normal emotions and part of our daily lives. But sometimes we don’t know what to do with our anger. So… I’m angry, what do I do now? We can express it in a positive or a negative way. Despite this, anger is an emotion that is difficult to control. Some people know how to do it, but others let the anger take over.
The first thing we should do is think about what we should do with our anger, how we should respond to this troublesome emotion. To begin with, we need to know what kind of person we are and what our attitude is when we are angry.
1. The passive approach
Many people hide their anger without realizing that they are suppressing it. This can lead to anxiety attacks of not being able to express the frustrations. The plus side of this is that they don’t get upset and go overboard, giving them a chance to think about their anger instead of expressing it in an aggressive way. Many people who suffer from depression deal with anger in this way.
2. The passive-aggressive approach
This is the “bomb” approach, where the anger is suppressed, but the person knows that sooner or later it will lead to an explosion. Anger can also be expressed in indirect ways or through subtle sarcasm.
3. The Explosive Approach
Explosive people can burst with anger in any situation and have no self-control at all. Their tolerance level is very low and when confronted with a frustrating situation, they literally and/or figuratively lash out until they feel relieved. These are people who find it necessary to hit the table, punch the wall, or yell hurtful words.
4. A winner’s approach
Those who have a winner’s approach express their anger verbally. They do this after they fully understand why they are angry and what made them angry so that they can express themselves in the right way to the right person, without becoming aggressive.
What is your approach? Knowing this will help you think about what strategy to use when you get angry. Remember that when you get angry, you often do something without thinking about it. Therefore, it is necessary to think about it first. Once we know your approach, you can start designing your strategy based on these steps:
1. Question your anger
Why am I angry? Do I have a good reason? What should I do now? These are questions to ask your anger. If you really think about it, there may not be a good reason for it or at least not one that is very important. Often times we can put what makes us angry behind us, but if we can’t, the next step will show us how to move forward.
2. Let go of your anger
Don’t suppress it! This is not good and will only eventually lead to you not being able to control your anger and expressing it outwardly. Talk to someone, yell into a pillow, go for a run, or find another way to release your anger. Find your own way that works for you. We are all different. What is your way of letting go of your anger?
3. Express your anger in words
If we talk to someone about what makes us angry, we will be able to calm down. We’ll be able to blow off steam. We shouldn’t let our anger rage inside us, because what if we’re wrong? The person listening to us may be able to see the situation from a different perspective and help us see it too.
4. Pick a time and a place
When we’re angry, the worst thing anyone else can say to us is to calm down. So if someone else is mad, give them space! Anger is contagious, and trying to resolve it can make you angry too. For that reason, it is better to take a step back and only come back to it when you are somewhere else, at a different time. At the right time, you can talk to that person so that he can vent some of the frustration.
5. Your body fights too!
Even if we have mentally put our anger behind us, our bodies may not have it. Our body also communicates our emotions and it takes a little longer to let go. That’s why even though we’re no longer angry, our faces and attitudes still show signs of anger. When this happens, we need to go for a walk, run, or other activity so that we can express our anger physically and release it from our bodies, by any means necessary.
And now… Do you know what to do with your anger? The first thing to do is determine your approach. Which one is it? Then you can choose the strategy to follow. The most effective strategy is to talk to someone, but keep in mind that you should do it when you calm down. When you’re in the middle of your anger, you’re all tense and that can lead to hurting those around you, even if you don’t mean to.
