Is It True That You Can Never Really Know Someone?

In certain situations, you may have decided that it’s just not possible to really know someone. This can happen because someone is behaving in an unexpected way  (good or bad) or because someone disappoints you. It may make you think that you should not assume anything when it comes to other people. But is that really true?

The English poet John Donne once said that “ No one is an island on its own. What he meant is that we are all part of a planet. As much as we wish it were, the people close to you don’t always do what you expect or want.

Predictability feels good to most people. When you expect something from someone, you hope they do it. You want to be able to assume that your partner, family or friends react in a specific way to specific circumstances and that you can always count on them.

Is it true that you can never really know anyone?

The simple truth is that you can never really know someone. At least not deeply, and not with enough certainty that you can really put yourself in their mental universe and predict with total accuracy what they will or won’t do.

However, accepting that fact need not be a cause for concern. No one has total control over the world he or she lives in. That goes for things as well as for people.

People can change (and sometimes they need to)

One of the reasons you can never really know someone is that we all have the ability to change. We are all capable of taking on new life goals, moving forward, growing up and even changing some of our personality traits.

This is a controversial idea because many people think that your personality is fixed once you have grown up.

• However, accepting this idea can help you avoid going from one disappointment to the next. People change because life experiences can change you and because sometimes life puts you in situations where you have to rethink things. Sometimes you may even have to rebuild yourself.
• Studies like those of Dr. Nathan W. Hudson of the University of Michigan have yielded interesting results. Many people do not feel completely satisfied with their personality. Therefore, many people want to improve their true selves. That means dealing with your insecurities, strengthening your identity, and changing certain traits to make you feel better.

This process of change can also often involve leaving certain people behind or disappointing those around you. When you take the road to self-fulfillment, you will most likely surprise one or two people with your decisions. You might surprise yourself!

You can never really know someone because you only see them the way you want to see them

You hear a lot of people complain about the fact that they can never really get to know someone. This usually happens during periods of bitterness and frustration with unfulfilled expectations.

The truth is, we all make mistakes, and there’s nothing you can do to stop that. At some point, we all disappoint those who love us, or do something they didn’t expect us to do.

However, that’s not the only thing you need to keep in mind. In certain cases, you can never really know someone because you don’t make room for an image other than the one you already have in your head. Maybe you’re just pushing away what you don’t want to see.

Some people end up building an image of absolute, unrealistic perfection. They take on way too many things. Thus, they begin to idealize others and impose this exaggerated image of how they see someone on others.

Finally

Lewis R. Goldberg, a renowned expert on human character, says personality isn’t always a reliable, rigid place to look if you want to predict how someone will behave in their life. There are other little aspects that you fail to notice, unseen variables that are out of your control, that make this impossible.

So it is indeed true: you can never really know someone, no matter how much you love that person. The best option you have is to trust him or her. You simply have to accept this uncertainty.

As we all know, nothing is certain in this world. The best thing you can do is enjoy the present and accept that life comes with change, uncertainty and surprises.