The Danger Of High Expectations
Sometimes we have extremely high expectations of certain people. It’s unavoidable, it’s something we all do regularly: find that your partner should support you in every way without disagreeing with you, expect your friends or family to solve all your problems, expect them to they are always there when you need them…
Developing very high expectations of those around us can also be a form of coercion, an almost moral obligation that they fulfill our desires. It’s a way of taking their freedom from them, when in reality we are the only person we have to rely on completely.
We go through life with some expectations, waiting for certain things to happen and expecting others to behave how we want them to. But we are not always aware that “expecting” is sometimes synonymous with “wanting” and this implies a bit of manipulation.
It’s always better if the people in our lives can be completely free and live how they want. When they do something for us, it’s because they really want to do it from the bottom of their hearts and so we thank them for it. But if they don’t, we shouldn’t worry about it or keep worrying about it.
You are the one from whom you can expect things. You will always have to be able to solve your own problems without giving that responsibility to someone else, confronting your own fears and not projecting them onto others.
The Dangerous Power of Expectations
Don’t expect anything from anyone else, expect everything from yourself. This statement may seem overwhelming, but we’re sure you can think of a situation where this idea is exactly what happened. People expect things every day and often this is accompanied by a certain amount of illusion.
For example, you can expect your partner to always stay with you and give up everything for you and that you are the most important thing in his or her life. But imagine that the person wants to take some time off from work to go on vacation with friends. Part of you will feel disappointed because a small part of your expectations has been broken and you don’t quite know how to deal with it.
Does this mean your partner doesn’t love you? Of course not. It just means that the expectations you’ve built up are too idealistic. You predicted that certain things would happen, but they didn’t happen.
People tend to predict the future and make assumptions about people based on how they want it to be. And if that doesn’t work, we feel disappointed. And you know what often fuels disappointment? Concrete expectations and hopes that we have put a lot of certainty in.
Never just take anything. You will experience less disappointment if your expectations are less high and you value them less and as a result you will be able to give others more freedom. Expect everything from yourself, because you are the creator of your own life.
Accept the unexpected
We know that it takes a lot, that it is not easy to accept life with its many changes, that the one you need today is not the one you need tomorrow, that the one you support can change your mind within an hour . But how do you deal with these everyday insecurities?
By staying in balance and taking control of your own life. You are the only one you can always rely on and you are the one who has to confront your fears and make sure you don’t feel empty. Do not leave this obligation to someone else or force them to find solutions for you. Don’t be a slave to your expectations because you fear they will disappoint you at any moment.
Let them love you of their own free will, without forcing them to act according to your will. Let them do things for you because they want to and if they don’t want to, don’t punish them or grumble about it. Let them be who they want to be. And be who you want to be. Learn to go through life with certainty and maturity and create your own happiness. Expect a lot from yourself and live in harmony with others.
–Image of Viccolatte–
