Setbacks: Why We Don’t Learn From Them

There are plenty of philosophies that promote the idea that we should avoid setbacks at all costs. They also interpret that a happy life is a life without difficulties and obstacles. In addition, they claim that problems cause discomfort.

However, adversity is part of life whether we like it or not. Pain and suffering exist, denying this will not change this. In fact, difficulties give meaning to our existence.

Imagine a person who has never faced adversity. This person has only experienced happy moments. He has never run into any obstacles and has actually always gotten what he wanted. What is the result of such a life?

The result would probably be a selfish person who cannot empathize with the pain of others. In addition, that person is very unlikely to appreciate what they have and set long-term goals.

Setbacks bring not only difficult moments, but also great lessons. The people who are able to learn from their setbacks generally end up living more fulfilling lives.

Setbacks and positive thoughts

It was about thirty years ago that philosophies about positivity started to become very popular. Most of these philosophies originated in the United States. Ultimately, they spawned thousands of bestsellers, seminars, conferences, and events.

These philosophies practically impose happiness as a way of life. They promote the idea of ​​a blind kind of optimism that we must maintain in spite of all our circumstances. In fact, they therefore invite us to avoid all negative aspects of situations, people or life itself.

So this would mean living in an eternal state of joy and euphoria. That we have to go through life as if there is never a reason to feel sadness, irritation or frustration.

However, these kinds of attitudes, especially when we take them to the extreme, are very deceptive. They can also cause a lot of guilt. Because this kind of nirvana is rarely achieved, we begin to doubt our own ability to achieve that happiness that those people talk about in their books and conferences.

Adversity is an inescapable fact

Hardly anyone likes to lose something. We prefer to go through life without ever having to taste the bitter taste of betrayal, heartbreak, or inability to achieve important goals.

If death left no trace of pain, or if we could do absolutely anything we wanted, everything would probably be a lot easier. However, why do we think that an easier life is also a better life?

It is important to note that it is virtually impossible to completely avoid setbacks. The fact that we will all die one day already limits our entire existence.

However, being able to live life largely has to do with our ability to overcome adversity. We need to face setbacks and deal with them instead of avoiding them and pretending they don’t exist. Taking action when faced with adversity also indicates that we understand life.

The lessons you can learn from adversity

Both Eastern and Western philosophies talk about failure, frustration and adversity. They are convinced that the key to everything lies not in accepting that painful events happen, but in how we deal with them.

We suffer much more when we don’t accept adversity than when we face it. If we are able to admit that we have reached our limit and that something we want is impossible, it does not mean that we can no longer access everything else that is good in life.

Setbacks help us get to know ourselves better. We are much better able to understand life and other people when we have suffered. Bad times can only help us become stronger if we choose to be humble and learn from them.

Adversity renews us and invites us to change for the better. At the same time, it also makes us value the happy moments we experience more.