How To Grow Through Failure

As children, we notice that the looks we get when we fail or make a mistake are very similar to the looks we get when we misbehave. Failure therefore becomes something that we disapprove of. Instead of rejoicing that we have discovered which path not to take, we become angry with ourselves. Instead of seeing that we grow through failure, we curse ourselves and become sad, as if that’s what we’re supposed to feel in such a moment.

If we are unable to give in to failure, unable to see that it can also be positive, we will tend to give up. But how can we take advantage of what our mistakes want to teach us if we react in this way? How can we grow through failure if we try to just erase everything that has happened?

People who don’t accept failure or who don’t know how to take advantage of it are usually people who lack self-acceptance. They tend towards perfectionism in everything they do. And when they realize they’re not perfect and their expectations aren’t being met, they just give up on everything and fall into utter hopelessness.

Of course, this attitude is of little use. All it makes is that skilled people stop trying for fear of failing again. It keeps them in their comfort zone and prevents growth.

Growing through failure

One who never fails is one who never tries. These people just stay in their comfort zone, where the risks are minimal. Often, however, they do long for a more exciting life, with challenges or goals to achieve. And then it doesn’t even matter whether those dreams come true or succeed…

When we stop trying for fear of failure, we already embrace that failure. Perhaps we feel less pain and stress because we avoid the fear we would feel in a challenging situation. But if we are willing to face the challenges and the fear, life will take on a much more vibrant color.

Failure should never be the reason that we give up on our dreams. No, it must be the sign that tells us we are growing. It should be an indication that we are exploring new avenues and that we will improve through them. That we will mature and develop our capabilities.

It is true that failure is not something we can control. Therefore, if you want to achieve success, it is best to assume in advance that you will make mistakes along the way. What we do can control, the ability to persevere no matter what. And that’s when we can invest our energy and get really positive results.

How do you deal with failure?

Failure is not the end. It’s just an intermediate step. It is the undeniable movement towards success or victory in that particular area of ​​our lives. Therefore, failure has more advantages than disadvantages. All we need to do to realize this is to be aware that failure does not define us. It just means we have to do things differently next time.

The first step to better dealing with our mistakes is a complicated but important one: we have to accept what we can’t change. We shouldn’t keep complaining or grumbling about the options we have. Our options are what they are. We just have to approach them again. Whatever the outcome, our options do not define us, nor will we always depend on them. We are not defined by our thoughts nor by our behavior. No, we are much more than all that. We are complex creatures, constantly changing, learning and looking for opportunities to improve.

Adjust your expectations

The next step is to adjust our expectations. It is important that you are very clear about your ‘real me’ and your ‘ideal me’. Your ‘real me’ is the person you are, nothing more, nothing less. This is the I that is formed by your personal qualities, abilities, virtues, flaws and limitations. You know how you are. You know exactly what you can or cannot do or achieve.

Your “ideal self” is the person you think you are, but in reality you are not. If you have high expectations of yourself and believe more in your ‘ideal me’ than in your ‘real me’, you will suffer the moment reality shows you that you need to adjust your expectations.

Finally, learn to tolerate the frustrations life brings. Your projects and dreams will not always turn out the way you would like. However, this doesn’t mean you should just give up. Sometimes you just have to accept the things you don’t like, including your own mistakes. Decide to learn from them, for what they can bring you will be the fuel that fuels your desire to progress.