What To Do After A Breakup?
What comes after a breakup? A few decades ago, and even a few years ago, all couples put up with each other their entire lives, despite the fights that might be there. Today a lot has changed and we could even say that we have reached the other extreme.
Accepting the other person unconditionally, with their flaws and their virtues, and being aware that the perfect person does not exist and will not exist is the key to a satisfying relationship. Of course, there are always boundaries that we must have clear to ourselves and that we must not allow to be broken. Think of abuse, nullification, disrespect or the amputation of part of our individual freedom, or all of it.
When a relationship ends, the feeling of abandonment, emptiness and loneliness is present for a long time. We have to go through the familiar time of mourning, which must hurt. That pain is what will eventually make us rebuild. The grieving period consists of different phases, already known to everyone: denial, anger, fighting, depression, acceptance… and we may go through all of them, or just some of them.
There are people who do not process their grief after a breakup and suppress the pain for too long, which creates an emotional block.
How do you feel after a breakup?
Ending a relationship is a process that can be extremely painful. You’ve been with that person for days, months, or years. You have shared your whole life with him or her. You know each other almost to perfection. You have the same friends, you feel affection for his or her family and suddenly all of that disappears, almost overnight. How can you not feel pain after a breakup?
That person, who was so present in your life, who was the most important thing to you, is suddenly gone and you may never see him or her again. Of course that is difficult, well and or. Your soul breaks into pieces, you feel completely lost. You see no way out and a feeling of emptiness takes over.
The first thing to know and accept is that you will feel bad, really bad. A breakup, as we’ve said, hurts. But you should also understand that this is the normal and recommended process. You have to mourn your loss, get mad at the world, scream if you feel like it… As long as this behavior doesn’t last too long.
You may feel incomplete, it feels like half your life is gone never to come back. You think that you will never meet someone like him or her again, that you are a failure, etc. Yet you must realize that these are just ideas, thoughts that come into your head and that are the real cause of your suffering. The more you wallow in them, the more they will grow and the more pain they will cause you. Do not feed these thoughts.
How can you find yourself again after a breakup?
After going through the grieving period we discussed above, you will start to see things differently. Time is our great ally, but so is our mind, when it is able to think realistically. There is no point in time passing if you still feel incomplete and empty, if you keep thinking you have lost the love of your life etc.
You have to lift yourself up and stop thinking in an extreme and rigid way. The love of your life does not exist. There is no one born who is your soul mate, nor your other half, or anything like that. What does matter is that you feel comfortable with whoever you are with at the moment.
Find company
You are not alone or empty. Around you, thousands of people are willing to get to know you, in addition to those you already know. But beware, that is only possible if you do not close yourself off from them. Even if you don’t feel like it at all, you have to force yourself to go out with friends, to get together with relatives, to call someone you haven’t seen in a while, to make fun plans.
Little by little you will feel more and more comforted. Also, thanks to going out and meeting other people, you have the chance to get to know an interesting person. Perhaps there will be an employment opportunity, an opportunity to travel, a leisure activity… You never know.
Find yourself again. It is possible that in your relationship you have stopped doing certain things that you used to love. It is time to pick up these things again and start enjoying these activities again. Very often we let ourselves down when we are in a relationship. After a breakup, it is therefore advisable to find ourselves again. Our confidence will thank us for this.
By not giving up, but moving forward, by not wallowing in our adversity or ruminating on negative thoughts, we will win the battle against that intense pain and come out stronger. Ultimately, the other becomes a memory that may be more or less pleasant. In the end, however, it will be just a memory.
