5 Steps To Overcome Loss

During our lives it is normal that we lose people. Overcoming loss is a lesson we all experience sooner or later. The problem arises when we refuse to accept that loss is an inevitable part of life and necessary for our personal growth.

When we experience a deep loss, we put all our energy into what we lose. We cannot see the other side and recognize that what we have lost was in our lives for a certain time and had a special value.

Experiencing deep loss, such as the death of someone special, a divorce, the end of a friendship and so on, leaves us with a feeling of loneliness, a huge void. We feel sadness, anger and emotional ups and downs. It is a state of mourning that everyone has to go through in their own way.

Healing loss is a difficult process, because to become yourself again you have to go through many ups and downs, like riding a roller coaster.

When we open up to acceptance, we suddenly drown in fear and despair. We take a step forward and then a few back. And this is how we heal, go through the whole process without blocking ourselves.

 1. Overcome loss by respecting the process

Everyone experiences loss differently,  at their own pace and in their own way. Denial is part of this process and it protects us from what we can’t handle yet.

Many people think they are cold and they don’t understand why they are not aware of their feelings. These emotions and feelings are stored because they contain a lot of pain and we can only feel them if we are able to face them, which can take years.

This often occurs in children and young people who cannot handle these kinds of strong feelings until they are adults and prepared for them. That’s when everything comes together.

2. The pain is always personal

No one can tell us how to heal from a loss. No matter how hard you try to find the answers in others, we can only find them in ourselves.

This process takes time. It’s never too fast or too slow, as long as we keep moving forward in life  and don’t get stuck trying to heal our pain.

3. We cannot protect ourselves from new loss

When we try to protect ourselves from new loss, we unconsciously provoke it. If we have experienced a loss and are going through the difficult process, we may want to protect ourselves from it. We protect ourselves by creating a shield to avoid the pain we have all experienced, but this is not possible,  because removing what we do not want is also a loss in itself.

4. The way out of the pain is through the pain

This is an important way to heal from loss. We cannot avoid the pain and emotions of loss. If we are willing to face the loss, we will feel the pain, and if we try to avoid these feelings, we will only get stuck in our suffering. Loss means pain. It makes us authentic and genuine people, and it teaches us to appreciate the things that matter.

5. The love we have given and felt is never lost

What really matters is never lost. We always carry what we have experienced and felt with us. It has changed us and made us who we are today. That’s why it doesn’t make sense to avoid all experiences for fear of loss. Because  the only thing we keep with us is what we have felt.